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Sunday, May 25, 2014

Confessions From a Church Pew

In my life I have:

  • gotten the attention of a sibling or child by tapping them with a sacrament tray.
  • pinched a child to make them cry so I could leave the meeting.
  • worn two different shoes to church, three weeks in a row.
  • made up my own words or sang my own tune to hymns being sung during sacrament meeting.
  • taken two pieces of bread smushed together. (I was a young child, but I did it every week for a year or so. I never got caught.)
  • cried while someone shared a happy story from the pulpit.
  • laughed while someone shared a sad story from the pulpit.
  • eaten all the treats I brought to church for my children to eat.
  • removed that child from a meeting.  You know the one, the parent takes their child out while he is yelling for the Bishop to save him.
  • witnessed people making out or come close to making out during church.
  • watched a Deacon eat more sacrament bread from his tray than he passed out...week after week. (He had special needs.)
  • heard a soda can opening during a quiet--serious part of fast and testimony meeting.
  • heard Amazing Grace sung acapella from the pulpit as a testimony after the singer declared the Holy Spirit had taken him over. (It was AWESOME btw.)
  • held an 18 month old in my lap while he slammed his head into the pew in front of him repeatedly.
  • never slept through a meeting since I was old enough to stay awake. (age 29 was the magic age.)
  • driven to church when I lived three blocks and walked when I was over a mile.
  • had a lot of good laughs while thinking to myself and silently thanking Heavenly Father "I'm glad that's not my child."

1 comment:

Felicia said...

High on a mountain top, a badger chased a squirrel...

Come come ye saints, no toilet paper here...

God be with you chili beans again....

Zip up your Doo-Dah, don't be risqué, my oh my what a thing to display...(oh wait, that's not a hymn).

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