Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Gag Order

Because I only have 4 1/2 readers, there hasn't been much sadness over this here blog not being updated. I've written quite a few posts and I have some things to say, I'm just really scared to post anything for fear of offending people. I've become quite sensitive in regards to what people think of me. Don't get me wrong. I don't care if people like or dislike me. I know I have character flaws that rub people the wrong way. We all do. My problem is that I have the kind of personality that makes people feel like they can tell me anything. It works well most of the time, because I know how to keep a secret and you can trust me. That hard part is when people feel they can tell me and whoever else is there when they;re sharing, all the bad things they thought about me before they knew me. I know I don't make a good first impression. I also have feelings. It's hard to laugh it off sometimes and keep going while trying to heal from the hurt, without choosing to be offended after my wound is gone. How am I supposed to act normal around a person who went home crying over something I did when I never had a conversation or exchange with that person? What about a stranger who watches me weigh myself at the gym and then is astounded at the number they saw? They also felt comfortable enough around me to gush over their new found knowledge. All I said to them was thank you. (You may not know this, but I'm over weight. It's an obvious flaw, but there is more to me than that number.)

There are a few more examples but maybe I have 5 1/2 readers and they might feel bad if I wrote about it.

I would never write, say, or do anything that would hurt another person. I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt.

 Anyway, that is why I haven't written. All my thoughts and ideas are staying in my mind right now because I don't have a safe place to put them. But know we are doing well. Christmas is over, Robert's birthday/anniversary passed by with no fanfare, and I've been sewing fun things. I'll post some pictures of that on Friday.

I'll see you soon.

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