Friday, May 4, 2012

The Rest of the Story...

I miss Paul Harvey.  sigh..

Okay. I think every person has a story where they took the uber scenic route to solve a simple problem.

We have a friend {Vaughn Nelson} who went to start a load of laundry when he was newly married.  When the washer wouldn't start, he took the whole machine apart and then realized you have to pull the knob out to get it to start. After he rebuilt the entire washer it, he pulled the knob and did his laundry. Bless his heart, he didn't know what my 5 year old does.

Our Stake President told us a story about his ceiling fan not working.  He didn't take the entire thing apart, but did red tape it so no one would use it. After praying about it, he realized he needed to put his glasses on and then he was able to see some of the screws needed tightened.  His fan works. I shall refrain from saying Bless his heart. :)

So, here's the back story and the rest of it too.

Approximately 5 weeks ago, Ken got a new cell phone. When we were declining all the extras which Verizon wanted to sell us, we also declined insurance.

Fast forward to last Thursday, a week ago yesterday. We went to a ward party and then Ken and I dropped our kids off at home and went on a date. Before we left the restaurant, Ken needed to use the bathroom. He was gone longer than normal and I was worried he was sick. He came back a little troubled, confirming my suspicion, but instead of saying he needed to get home right away, he said, 'Please tell me we have insurance on my phone.' I immediately said either poop or crap, then told him we declined it. He put his phone on the table and told me he dropped it in the toilet. I asked him when. He said just now. I clarified my question by asking if the toilet had been flushed. He said...  no.  poop. for real this time.

We hurried home to go on YouTube and figure out what we needed to do before putting the phone in rice and while Ken was watching YouTube, I was texting my friend, Amy about Ken's poopy luck.

Ken made the choice to drop the phone, still intact, into the rice. {This is not following the directions of the YouTube video BTW}

The next day, he could get the phone to power up, but the screen was dark. I borrowed some teeny tiny screwdrivers from Vaughn and Amy and went to work getting the phone opened so we could dry it out. Matthew and I got the first screw out of the phone in about 30 minutes. {They were phillips screwdrivers and it was a 5 point start screw.} I told Matthew to be very careful because we did not want to *strip the screw. When the first screw came out, the screen brightened back up.

I left for a walk, he called me a little bit later and told me he couldn't get the other screw out and went to school. I came back home, looked at the phone and saw that he had indeed *stripped the screw. poop.

I went to Verizon and they could do nothing.

His phone was working so we didn't worry too much. That evening Matthew and I were playing multiplayer doodle jump and then Ken had to go on a removal. Matthew went with him and just as they were leaving, the phone went dark again. Ken blamed it on me and Matthew for playing doodle jump.

I told him there was probably nothing we could do about it, but the next evening we went over to Vaughn and Amy's so Vaughn could try to get Ken's phone working.

Vaughn immediately noticed that *the screw was stripped and after many 'That's what she said' jokes, Vaughn told Ken his other options.  They chose to drill out of the *stripped screw. It took Vaughn about 20 minutes to get the screw out, then he took the phone apart to get to the screen. Vaughn noticed he could see the screen lit up very dimly, so he got about 6 different flashlights to try to see the screen because he thought maybe he could adjust the brightness and the phone would be good as new [besides the fact it had rendezvoused with feces].

None of the flashlights proved strong enough, then Vaughn got an idea. Hook the phone up to iTunes. It will show where all the apps are he can get to the settings.

This part took about 45 seconds, Vaughn adjusted the brightness, put all the pieces back together again and the phone works just fine.

This whole time, Amy and I were eating brownies, making inappropriate comments about the *stripped screw and playing draw something. It was hilarious and what not. That's what she said.

So to recap:

  • Ken declined insurance on his phone.
  • Less than 30 days later is fell in the toilet.
  • He dropped the whole phone in rice.
  • The screen went dark.
  • We got one screw out
  • Matthew *stripped the other screw.
  • The screen went dark again.
  • Vaughn drilled out the screw.
  • He took the whole phone apart to get to the screen.
  • He could see icons on the screen.
  • He found about 6 flashlights
  • He connected the phone to iTunes.
  • He adjusted the brightness.
  • He put the phone back together.
  • It is as good as new and has been to a poo poo party.
I've taken the liberty to highlight the 'scenic route' portion of this adventure. We did have to take the screws out in the first place because the screen was dark and it wasn't the settings.

Just so you know, Ken used the most powerful disinfectants to sanitize his phone and phone cover, which he got from the funeral home. Yes the phone is working finally. But none of these things matter when I see him put his poopoo phone up to his face.

Also, after this ordeal, Matthew admitted to Ken that he adjusted the brightness after our games of doodle jump.

So there you have it. The rest of the story.

{This is a clean version - redramatization.}

*That's what she said.


Kate said...

validation confirmed. :)

Woodberries said...

werent those supposed to be MY brownies??!! j/k i ate like 4 or 5 servings of fruit cobbler and gained 3 lbs. Thanks for sharing your crazy adventure. are you getting insurance now?

Lisa M said...

I just found your blog and wanted to say thank you for making me smile and laugh out loud (wierd looks from my beloved). I pleased your husband's phone still works.

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