Have you met my best boy Matthew? I think he's pretty great and he's one of the funniest kids I know.
Here is a few of the things he's said lately.
- Me: Matthew, you have Nutella on your face. Matthew: I know. I'm saving it for later.
- Sorry for licking you. I was trying to get my lips wet.
- See the title. (He actually started saying that in Kansas every time we drove past the cemetery on Broadway.)
- While we were watching a show on TV, there was a whole bunch of youth dancers on screen doing flips. 'I think only Chinese kids can do that because they use Kung Fu to do their flips.'
- When he's ticked at me he calls me Mom.
- If he's doing chores he calls me Mother.
- If he wants something really badly it's Mommy.
- Day to day living is Mama.
Yesterday we missed reading scriptures as a family because I flaked. I told the kids last night they had to go to bed a little earlier because we forgot and Matthew told me he read on his own. I asked him what he read. Of all the books in The Standard Works or even all the books in the Book of Mormon, guess which chapter Matthew pulled out of his...brain to tell me he read. Jacob 5.
That's right people. The longest chapter in the entire Book of Mormon. I laughed right out loud at his answer, his poor luck, and the anything else that came to my mind at the very moment.
I asked him what it was about and he couldn't remember. I asked him what fruit it spoke of and he said the fruit of the tree of life. I asked him what tree it talked about and he said the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Fail. Fail. Fail.
I called 5 of my family members that I have on speed dial and asked them to tell Matthew what Jacob 5 was about all 5 of them responded The Allegory of the Olive Tree. All five also got a good laugh at Matthew's poor luck.